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US Jails Suck

  • Well I must admit the vertical bars will protect me from my competition.  That can be a very important item if you do not want to be a target for a Lead Greeting Card.  When I get outa here I want to go to the Grocery Store and pick up some Zu Zu's.

    • Well I must admit the vertical bars will protect me from my…
  • Hay hold on Warden.  I just am not ready to split today.  We got the prison cell championship basketball tourney today.  How bout you let me go tomorrow?

    • Hay hold on Warden. I just am not ready to split today. We…
  • Darn it, Warden I got to compete in the Prison wide Table Tourney today.  Tell you what, I will beat up a defenseless homeless guy when I get out to pay for the extra two days I have been in the joint past my release date.

    • Darn it, Warden I got to compete in the Prison wide Table To…
  • Now look here Warden.  I realize that I was possed to exit da crowbar hotel three days ago but I have been very active in sports here.  Many of the mass murderers look up to me.  I got to defend my Fooseball Title before I can go.  Tell you what I will...

    • Now look here Warden. I realize that I was possed to exit d…
  • Oh lord if you were to leave this rad prison who would want to go and let this beautiful weight sets sit here lonely.  I just can't exit da joint.

    • Oh lord if you were to leave this rad prison who would want…
  • Na, Na, Na, you can't get me.  Hah, Hah, Hah, I am safe from all the stuff out there.  Nice rooms, Nice chairs, Free Food, Healthcare, Plants.  I got it made.  Perhaps I will work on my literary works later.

    • Na, Na, Na, you can't get me. Hah, Hah, Hah, I am safe…
  • Oh home sweet home.  I guess that I would definately miss this place if I was stupid enough to go here.  Prison is definately for those who are deserving.  I wonder who you have to kill to get in here?

    • Oh home sweet home. I guess that I would definately miss th…